Yo and I
“Yoiji’s mother will stay for one month. But it’s her company from
Japan that sent her here. They’re putting her on training so she can’t spend 24 hours with Yo.” Khun Pao, Yoiji’s homeroom teacher stated at lunch. (Khun is a title in Thai for the elderly).
“So her real intention wasn’t to visit him?” I scowled.
“No.”
I stared at my Japanese angel along with the other children who were ready for their nap time. He clutched to a green handkerchief belonging to his mother, not allowing anyone else to touch it. He looked at me then blushed, fully realizing how sentimental he was as a boy to be so attached to something of his mother’s.
I bent down and placed my hand on his face as I’ve done at every nap time since the day I met him. “Can I hold it?” I asked.
“You can but I hold it too.” He placed my hand on the handkerchief as he brought it closer to his chest.
“I have a meeting today.” Khun Pao said. “Put them to sleep okay.” She walked out.
I turned to Yo as he stared blankly at the wall. I hate your parents, my head recited. I can’t care less what excuse they might have but if you were mine, I’d never ever leave you. Period.
They have no idea how much he misses them, how much he’s loosing more time each day to be with them, and how many good night kisses and good morning hugs he’s lost. How he’s so diligent, so different and special from the other kids around him, how he’s created his own world and enjoying himself being inside it, how he can’t care less of his surroundings because it’s just not good enough for him, how his intelligence surpassed every one else’s, how quickly of him to be bored from everything because a mind like his deserves so much more than anyone has ever given him.
“Where is your mother?” I asked him feeling reluctant whether I should bring up that touchy subject.
“She said she’s working.” His gloomy face melted me.
“For how long?”
“I don’t know.” The boy whispered almost in tears.
“Can I sleep here?” I leaned beside him afraid to intrude his space. I knew exactly what it felt like to be all alone. My best cure was to stay alone as other’s presence would only damage my growing emotional instability. I absolutely despise gray areas.
“Yes.” He said still staring at the wall. I rubbed his back and kissed his hair in silence. And that moment I broke down in tears.
“Why are you crying?” Yoiji’s face confused.
“Do you miss her?” I asked him. The boy got up to sit a while before lying back down on his tummy. “Do you?” I turned to him as he quickly buried his face on the pillow.
That was a “yes”. I brought my face close to his as he turned to me. I gave him an Eskimo kiss he always liked. Yoiji giggled.
“You miss your dad too?”
“I haven’t seen him in a long time.” The four year old spoke out.
“How long?”
“I don’t know. Mom said he’s working in
Japan too.”
“Do you love your mother, Yo?”
“Love.” He answered quickly.
“And your father?” I asked holding him close to my chest.
“Yes.” He said shyly.
I held him close for a while before he sat up.
“You need to sleep.” I said to him. “Everybody else is asleep already.” The boy looked around at all his classmates breathing softly drowning in their own dreams.
“Why are you crying?” He turned to me.
I smiled, took his handkerchief and wiped my tears with it. He grabbed it quickly, kissed and gripped it tighter.
“Where are your mom and dad?” He suddenly asked.
“Far away also.”
“Really?”
“Really.” I ran my hands through his hair. “I am like you. Our parents are both far away.” The boy placed his body next to mine and stared back at the ceiling.
“Is that why you’re crying?”
“No.”
“Why?” He insisted softly.
“Remember Khun Robert?” I asked him referring to my lover who visited my school few weeks back.
“Yes.” Yoiji smiled shyly. “Your friend.”
“He lives in
Japan .” I confessed.
“Really?” The boy became wide eyed.
I witnessed him thinking a million miles away. It was one of the most beautiful things in the whole world seeing him in such a deep contemplation like that. He curled his eyebrows just like I did when I was his age whenever I felt that I needed to understand something, anything.
“Why is everybody in
Japan ?” The Japanese boy looked at me with the saddest brown eyes I’ve seen next to mine.
“I don’t know, Yoiji.” I said hugging him so very tightly crying in my silence just as he was in his.
February 7th, 2007 at 11:52 am
Sita my dear ,…Reading this blog , I know you will be having your own ,… the most happiest children in the near future . How I wished I can have you too even just for a sistah ? I love you babe and I guess you know it ! Keep that burning love in your heart and may God bless you always .
February 7th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
My heart fell reading your post. If it aches now, how much more for my three young girls I left when they were still a toddlers. They don’t have anyone to hug to feel secure and better, their father was away most of the time. All they have was the ring of our phone waiting for my constant call, all you can hear is cry, a plea to come home, and a question I cannot answer when are you coming home.
Life is a constant struggle.
February 7th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
Children are most angelic beings. They can be in the most hurting state of heart but because they’re children, they’ll take anything that’s given to them, loneliness included. They have no power to fight back. They only obey.
It hurts to see Yoiji. I know exactly how he feels. I know the patience he’s putting on his shoulder. And I know exactly what he’ll be like when he grows up.